WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?