why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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