I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize