I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
