i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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