Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
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He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
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I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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