but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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