you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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