I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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