just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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