Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
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he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
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Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.