The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
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dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
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And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila