once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
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Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
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Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
how drunk are you?
Several
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