ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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