I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
