About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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