He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
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Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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