So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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