Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize