spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
