Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.