Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Randomize
Follow @tfln