great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian