Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"