why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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