Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
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it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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