He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize