I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize