Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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