just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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