you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
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There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
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My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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