Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
