i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he thought i was a dude.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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