Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
