Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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