i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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