hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You took a bar mat shot.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize