I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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