Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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