Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
