The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
