Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm gonna cum garlic butter