put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it