Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi