I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops