God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
