This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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