is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
lets start a swedish sibling band together
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
