what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
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This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
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Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
there is puke in my bra ... again
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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