And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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