you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
