Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
