what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize