Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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