Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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