She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm just crazy horny about you
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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