I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
