I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
