I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
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She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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